Restarting Family Prayer
Some advice for Catholic Husbands/Fathers Returning to Their Faith
I hear from so many Catholic Husbands/Fathers who have COME HOME to faith in Jesus and want to start living a fully Catholic life.
They now face the challenge of trying to lead their wives and children in prayer— after years of failing to do so.
Here is my advice:
#1: Prioritize your relationship with your wife.
You made a vow to love her for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
Now it is time to be a true leader.
Be patient and humble as you reintroduce family prayer.
Apologize for your previous failures.
Invite her to come on this journey with you.
Assure her that you will take it a step at a time TOGETHER.
Prioritize conversations, dates, planning, dreaming — get help and accountability from other men if needed — but get this rolling.
Everything else in family life flows from your marriage. As you begin to pray and re-engage with your Catholic faith and build a personal and family prayer life, invest in your marriage relationship and play the LONG game.
#2: Start habit-stacking with meals.
This is the easiest place to begin reintroducing prayer.
You can naturally build on the existing habit (eating) and simply invite the family to pause and say a prayer of gratitude for the food.
For years we have prayed an "Our Father" and read the daily Gospel at breakfast, pray a "Hail Mary" or the Angelus at lunch, and a Glory Be at dinner.
Just start, even if it is minimal.
You can always build further once a habit is established.
#3: Start praying the Liturgy of the Hours (Morning and Night Prayer) faithfully
The Liturgy of the Hours is the daily prayer of the universal church. It connects you to the scriptures daily and draws you into prayers of adoration, meditation, and petition.
The Liturgy of the Hours helps you begin to sacramentalize your own time, in preparation for drawing your family more into a life informed by Faith in God.
When the time is right, invite your family to begin praying Night Prayer (Compline) with you. It is the shortest and most repetitive. Kids pick up on the structure quickly and can help to read and do the responses.
#4: Start patiently, play the long game, and don’t give up
Keep in mind that you are not going to introduce the idea to your family ONCE and have it received joyfully, cooperatively, and come easily thereafter.
No, you're going to have to do it dozens of times before it begins to be more natural and part of your family culture.
So buckle up. Keep in mind that it's a journey. Go into planning to experience difficulty and to meet that difficulty with patience, mercy, positivity, and love.
Prioritize the relationships above all else. Persevere, and eventually the fruit will come.
#5: Encourage Next Steps
Finally, on these foundations, presuming also you are taking your family to Mass and confession, find small ways to encourage/invite your children to begin praying on their own.
Gift them religious icons for their rooms (or better yet, have them pick some out) and give them a nice bible and rosary.
In our case, I have slowly introduced the use of the Magnificat publication into our family prayer routine, and have the kids prayer the "Morning Prayer" on their own.
Set the standard low and emphasize them simply taking some time to "be with God".
Emphasize that Prayer isn't “hard work” or a chore to be checked off. Prayer is simply spending time with God, getting to know Him, and letting Him love you and instruct you.
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Most of all
Strive to be a man absolutely committed to prayer in your own life, make sure your family knows and sees this.
Furthermore, make sure that prayer — that time of surrender to and attention to God — is producing real fruit in your own life — growth in patience, charity, generosity, self-control, and love.
It is this commitment and foundation that will ultimately change your heart and bring the needed graces into your family.
If you are looking for support on your journey of re-engaging your faith, building a personal & family prayer life, & growing in virtue as a husband/father, send me a DM!
I’d like to hear more about your journey and support you in any way I can.
God be with you today, brother!